SEX-PLAINED From farting to fetishes and fantasies…we ask 14 embarrassing sex questions so you don’t have to
WE all enjoy getting busy between the sheets, but for some sex is still such an awkward topic to talk about.
For most of us, it’s a case of sticking to what we know because that’s what we like.
But who isn’t even a little bit curious about sex, fantasies, fetishes and all that’s in between?
If you have questions about sex that you keep firmly to yourself for fear others would think you’re either silly or weird, join the crowd.
My website risks crashing from all the sex questions people email me, to spare their blushes by going public.
So to protect your privacy and answer those X-rated questions, here are the most common ones I’m asked:
Your partner is not a pervert for having a foot fetish, but it’s important you only do things you are comfortable with
1. Is my partner a pervert for having a fetish?
It depends on the fetish!
Many fetishes are harmless – from foot fetishes to a fetish for bondage clothing.
Relax about it as long as their fetish doesn’t upset you or dominate your sex life.
Fair’s fair, if they want to suck your toes to satisfy their fetish, you should feel free to ask for something that turns you on.
2 What’s the most common fantasy for men and women?
The most common fantasy for women is girl-on-girl action, according to PornHub
Red-hot stats from Pornhub found men are most likely to fantasise over mature women.
Younger men imagine older women are “raring to go” and these fantasies reflect their desire to be dominated by mature women or to learn some sizzling tricks from them.
There is also a kink-factor of fancying an older woman, for instance your partner’s mother.
It’s girl-on-girl action that’s top fantasy-material for women.
This doesn’t mean all women are lusting to become lesbians, but they do lust over lesbian-action.
Many women say such fantasies play into their imagination that a woman would be more gentle and sensuous during sex.
3. Is it normal to fart during an orgasm?
It’s perfectly normal to fart during an orgasm because your muscles down there are contracting
Yes, it’s incredibly common to pass wind when you climax because of the muscular contractions during orgasm.
As a woman’s vagina contracts during climax (as a man’s penis contracts during climax), the anal passage can be affected by these contractions.
If there’s any wind waiting to come out, it might pass during your intense pleasure.
4. Will he go off me if I have ‘fanny farts’?
Sticking with “wind”, queefing is when a woman expels air from her vagina during his thrusting.
Most women are mortified when actually men say it doesn’t put them off. If anything they just find it a bit funny.
Fanny farts can reflect slightly loose vaginal muscles.
So get to work exercising that pelvic floor.
5. When people cheat, are they more likely to do it with someone they know?
The rise in dating apps means it’s easier for people to cheat with complete strangers
Up until a decade ago people were most likely to cheat with someone they met through work.
But that’s all changed with the rise of social media and online flirtations.
Nowadays cheating’s split between people you meet at work and those you meet online, flirt with, and then take it into the fling-zone.
Four couples take Mr & Mrs quiz to find out how well they really know each other in the bedroom
6. Why do men get erections when they sleep?
During the dream cycle a man’s penis may become erect
Night-time erections, or tumescence, are associated with the dream stage of sleep – REM sleep (rapid eye movement stage of dreaming).
During REM parts of the brain involved in the engorgement of the penis, also get activated.
Erotic dreams are very common so it’s no surprise there is an association between REM sleep and erections.
7. Do men and women really enjoy giving oral sex as much as receiving it?
Men are more likely to find giving oral sex as pleasurable as receiving it
Some 20 per cent of couples use it for the woman to climax if she has difficulties climaxing through penetrative sex.
One study found men and women equally like receiving oral sex – who doesn’t?
But that men were more likely to enjoy giving it too.
Always make it pleasurable by showering or bathing together first so you both feel fresh.
Then take your time slowly exploring your partner’s oral-pleasure-zone, asking which sensations feel best.
8. Why does my man want to watch me have sex with another guy?
It’s not uncommon for your man to want to watch you with another man
“Cuckolding” has come out of the darkness and is now a fetish openly enjoyed by mainly men.
Some men report it’s a massive turn-on seeing what their partner would get up to with another man.
However many also enjoy the sense of humiliation when she’s excited having sex with someone else.
9. Is big better?
Most women prefer girth to length
It’s a myth that bigger is better.
Yes, there are some “size queens” that love a bigger penis.
However most women want an average length of about 16cm (6.3in), with a preference for a wide-ish girth to give
10. Can women orgasm during anal sex?
Although it’s not common for women, some climax from anal sex.
In this case their pelvic floor muscles – running from the anal opening up to the pubic mound – are highly responsive and integrated.
This means they receive some clitoral/vaginal stimulation during anal penetration, making it possible to climax.
11. Do women have wet dreams too?
Women can experience intensely pleasurable dreams and even climax – just like men
Many women have intensely pleasurable, erotic dreams where they become lubricated while asleep and might even climax.
However these dreams are not as “wet” as when men have wet dreams.
12. Is it normal to feel like you need to pee during sex?
Many women experience an occasional need to pee during sex because their bladders – and/or urethral opening – get overstimulated during thrusting.
This is due to the close proximity of the vagina, bladder and urethra.
It’s important you don’t let things become uncomfortable as it may be the signs of a urinary tract infection (UTI), like cystitis.
13. How can I talk to my partner about spicing things up?
If you want to spice thing up in the bedroom you should talk to your partner about it first
I wish I had £1 for every time I answer this – I’d be mega-wealthy!
Begin by being flirtatious in messages.
Oh-so-innocently say something like you were fantasising about doing something “different” to them.
This’ll spark their imagination and they’ll ask what.
From here, you can add in lots of dirty detail, bearing in mind your partner’s shyness levels.
If they aren’t very shy, you can get raunchy quickly.
Or when you’re caressing each other during foreplay, whisper seductively how much you’d love to do X, Y or Z to them. They’ll be all ears!